![]() Then I returned home one evening to an arranged meeting with her and my father, in which she basically told me I had no option but to leave within the next four weeks. She had imposed strict restrictions: my partner had been banned she had forced me to change the PIN on my iPhone to one that she knew so she could check my phone if required and I had to inform her of my whereabouts. The following week I dreaded leaving work, knowing I would return home to yet another rage. This is something a true narcissist would never think! They don’t believe they are doing anything wrong. I read more articles, and the more I read, the more I recognised that, although she was undiagnosed, she was a narcissist.įor a moment, I remember wondering if I was a narcissist. Maybe it was her after all and I hadn’t imagined it. As I read it, I thought for the first time that I could stop blaming myself and stop believing I had brought the abuse on myself. You just watch, it will all fall apart for you, this fairy tale you want. You are doing it again, making me look like the bad one. She then made a joke out of what had happened, and spoke to me like I was a child: ‘Tell them what made Mummy annoyed, and why you are feeling all sorry for yourself.’ On this occasion I was almost 23.Įventually, my partner sent me a link to the Psychology Today definition of narcissistic personality disorder after witnessing another incident of overreaction and irrational behaviour, when she told me: ‘This is what you do. To make matters worse, when the guests arrived I was obviously not in the mood to play happy families. This resulted in a split lip and another bald patch. How dare I make a connection between my job and hers? I seemed to have forgotten that working for a top company’s head office did not result in tiredness and definitely did not put me on the same level as her. Then I felt the heat from the palm of her hand make contact with my mouth and her other hand rip a clump of my hair out from the roots. We are all tired and we have all been to work. When we got home, we were met by one of her rages: ‘Couldn’t you have left a little earlier? I have had to set the table and wash the glasses all by myself! You are both so selfish! Ungrateful! Useless!’ Me and my dad had left work a little later than usual. One evening she had invited friends over for dinner. This is an example of sort of thing I was subjected to on a daily basis. ![]() You would probably perceive it to be normal.Īfter 23 years of abuse, both physically and mentally, I was worn down completely. If you have grown up with a person with narcissistic personality disorder, you would have no reason to question the behaviour. ![]() At the same time the person who is the subject of the abuse will probably not have an awareness of the suffering on both sides of the relationship. The behaviour/abuse can go on unrecognised by outsiders. NPD can inflict a form of abuse that is silent. Typically, narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children, and may be especially envious of – and threatened by – their child's growing independence. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a condition with a long-term pattern of abnormal behaviour characterised by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration and a lack of empathy.Ī narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or NPD. I refer to my mother as ‘her’, as I no longer feel comfortable calling her my mother after what has happened. I could hear her saying: ‘What do I do Millie? I find things out. But, more importantly, because I was scared of what she would do. I felt I had no choice but to write under a pseudonym, as I didn’t want her to know that I had finally found the courage to talk about what had happened. I started writing in the hope that it could benefit others who were suffering. My partner suggested it would be a good idea for me to write about my experience and my road to recovery. I started writing my blog, The Real Millie Gray, back in April this year. I am the daughter of a narcissistic mother.
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